Those who risk, win: Pssst

Shh...I know I said I wasn't going to update anymore until after the marathon. Then, on Saturday morning I realized how many nerves actually come along with a marathon, so here I am. Honestly, I didn't think it was possible to be this nervous/excited/anxious/ready/not ready for one race. If you don't follow current events you wouldn't know that just one week ago, there was a distinct possibility that the marathon could actually be cancelled, due to the government shutdown. Luckily for the 30,000+ registered runners, that got resolved (for the moment) re-opening national parks and monuments, and freeing up the course. So now the threat of cancellation is gone, the marathon is just 6 days away, and I am READY! OOH-RAH
At least, that's what I keep trying to tell myself in between my moments of panic. Maybe it's crazy, but I keep thinking of all the what-if moments. What if I miss the start time, what if I can't find my running group, what if I get injured, left behind, picked up by the straggler bus.... I have a hundred more what if's too, they just keep running circles in my head. I've been doing my best to ignore these swirling thoughts, but it is HARD!
I know I'm as ready as I can be. I ran the 20 miles, I did the long runs, the short runs, cross training, everything the experts say you should do. Perhaps I didn't follow the best diet, but I didn't go too crazy, eating junk all the time. When I ran, I ran with gels, gus, gummy bears, belvita, and anything else I thought would give me the extra kick when I was starting to slow down. I carried water, timed my runs, and ran in all types of weather. From an outside point of view, I couldn't be more prepared. Yet I still can't get rid of the nerves. Sunday seems so close and so far, so exciting and so scary. Honestly I never knew one person could feel so many conflicting emotions at the same time, and not explode.
In preparation for Sunday I ran a few races last week. On Columbus day I ran a 5k around Lake Quannapowitt with Cynthia and Murdock. We ran for time but didn't really make it. I keep telling myself that's because we haven't been speed training, so it's not a big deal. But still, I felt kind of pathetic not being able to make a 5K in under 25 minutes, when I've done it before. Just yesterday I ran one more half in Newburyport. The race officials said it was flat, but I disagree. There were plenty of hills to be found throughout the course. Overall it wasn't bad, but there was a stretch between 11 and 12 that was all industrial park which killed the scenery. Usually we run together for runs like this, but Murdock decided to run for time, so he took off, and Cynthia got stepped on and fell behind. I didn't realize I had lost Cynthia until long after she fell back, so I ended up running it alone. Not a big deal except that it was sort of boring and I only had myself to talk to. When I needed an extra push I had to talk myself through it in my head, which really made the last 3 miles long. Since I wasn't really running for time, I wasn't pushing extra hard. However, when I was close to mile 6 I realized I might be able to beat my best 10K time, so I pushed it just a bit. Unfortunately, I still missed my best time by a few seconds. Again at mile 12 I realized I was right on the cusp of hitting another sub 2, so I tried to power through, but still ended up coming in at 2:01. Considering this was only my 3rd half, it wasn't a big deal, but I was kind of bummed that I didn't make the 2. This was the first course where I had spectators on the side lines cheering me on, so that was nice, especially since they were at the end, miles 10 and 12.5 respectively.
Of course I've been keeping up with boxing as well. Even though I have no idea if it's actually helping, I try to go to at least 3 classes a week. Last week I went to 4, which I think was a mistake when I was planning on running a half. Since the marathon is on Sunday, I'm planning on only going to the Tuesday and Thursday classes. I really like the Thursday afternoon class because the trainer makes us work real hard, but the kickboxing has been leaving giant bruises on my shins. That part I'm not a fan of. And of course, I'm panicked about breaking a toe or some other crazy mishap that would take me out of the marathon at the last second. Basically, I want to lock myself up in a padded room until Sunday, but I want to stay overly busy to not think about Sunday at the same time. At least the boxing helps channel some of the nerves into power, so there's that. Anyways, I'm trying my best not to over-think this whole thing and remember to enjoy the experience when I'm there on Sunday, but it's proving very difficult. In the meantime, here are some pictures from the past few weeks.